Short Shorts Controversy: The Horror, The Horror

I think you know my usual policy: What happens in Kamloops, British Columbia, stays in Kamloops, British Columbia. But today I’m making an exception: This cannot be ignored. In the photo below on the right is Mohd Abdullah (form an orderly line, girls), who is in trouble with Kamloops city officials for his short shorts.

Abdullah, 48, a pilates and yoga instructor at Thompson Rivers University, has been warned that if he doesn’t stop wearing such revealing shorts during workouts, he will be banned from the city’s largest recreational complex, the Tournament Capital Centre. Please take note, Shaquille O’Neal.

Oh, did I say “British Columbia”? Because I meant NAZI GERMANY.

From THE PROVINCE, which has been all over this story like, well, Mr. Abdullah’s shorts:

The 48-year-old has refused to heed the warnings — and says he’d rather rescind his membership at the centre than toss out the six to eight pairs of short shorts he owns, one of them purchased from a Montreal Wal-Mart in 1997 for $5.

“I think it is discriminating and at the same time, I think it is a double standard,” he said. “Here you have women that are wearing shorts that are half my size and with, excuse my lingo, the boobs half falling [out] — and that’s acceptable.”

You see America, this is what happens in a country in which you have government-sponsored health care. The next thing you know they’re taking away your precious freedom to have your naughty bits protruding from your shorts.

But back to the story, every sentence of which is comedy gold:

Clint Andersen, sport development supervisor with the City of Kamloops, said there have been a series of attire-related complaints lodged about Abdullah since he began working out a year ago.

They have centered on the length of Abdullah’s shorts, as well as their “looseness” and revealing nature, he said.

And from THE PROVINCE comments section:

“I workout at the TCC all the time. The day Mohd had the press in to take a photo of him in his shorts, he decided to wear his “longer” pair of shorts. Those are NOT the shorts that people are complaining about. It’s the burgundy speedo that’s the problem. It looks like he’s walking around in women’s panties. Very inappropriate for a public facility. “Hey Mohd, how come you didn’t wear THOSE shorts for the press to take a picture of? FYI….Mohd contacted the press himself to waste their time about this issue!”

By the way, this story in THE PROVINCE must have set some sort of record for most comments “flagged as inappropriate.”