You know, I always liked that O.J. Simpson fellow. The great football career, the Hertz commercials, his unforgettable turn as Nordberg in the Naked Gun movies. Then, I just kinda lost track of him somewhere around, say, 1994. I’ve always wondered what he’s been up to. Now I come to find out he’s on trial for some sort of armed robbery shenanigans. Scandal!

The prosecution is out to show that O.J. just might be capable of doing something illegal. Juice says he was just collecting some of his own possessions…by setting up a vigilante-style sting at a Vegas hotel. There were thugs, guns, tape recordings, guys named “C.J.” and “Bruce.” This was all very sophisticated.

What there is, allegedly, is a pile of evidence suggesting that Orenthal and his armed henchmen stormed a room at the Palace Station (I do all of my ambushes off-Strip, too) that was occupied by a memorabilia dealer and a bunch of stuff that may or may not have belonged to Simpson.

What there isn’t, according to CNN.COM, is the hoopla that surrounded the slightly-more prominent trial in which he was accused of doing something a little bit worse.  Even the crazies aren’t sticking this one out:

The customary clutch of eccentric onlookers for all things O.J. seemed to evaporate in the 100-degree Las Vegas heat. The cast of characters dwindled to a wheelchair-bound man in a sequined Santa Claus outfit and a single, loquacious demonstrator with a bullhorn.

If there’s anything we can learn from this, it’s that you can’t keep Sequin Wheelchair Santa down. That guy is committed.

Law professor Laurie Levenson isn’t exactly doing backflips over the trial, comparing it in so many words to The Whole Ten Yards:

“I watched every minute of the criminal case and every moment of the civil case. Those were trials of the century,” she said. “This is a bad sequel.”

According to the ASSOCIATED PRESS, prosecutor Chris Owens tried to keep things fresh and exciting by playing a profanity-laden audio recording from the hotel encounter, then claiming that he will show jurors “the true face” of O.J. Apparently, Simpson has a bit of a temper:

“In our presentation of the evidence we are going to spend the next few days finding which may be the true face of … Simpson, not necessarily the one he tries to put out to the world,” Owens said.

Yeah, you won’t find anyone out there with a more impeccable public reputation than O.J. Simpson.