Shawn Chacon Seizes Trade Opportunity By Neck

It’s been hard out there for Houston Astros pitcher Shawn Chacon. It took 10 starts this year to become the pitcher of record, let alone a win, despite an OK ERA. But now he’s reeling of three straight losses, his ERA’s on the wrong side of 5.00, and the Astros have decided to demote him to the bullpen. What’re ya gonna do, Chacon?

Shawn Chacon

(a) Accept new role as a reliever, do it well, hope for a speedy return to the rotation
(b) Hope to be traded
(c) Choke your general manager

If you picked (d), which is (b) and (c), not only did you find this post’s easter egg, but you are correct! (And suspended!)

The fight escalated when Astros GM Ed Wade called Chacon into his office. Here’s Chacon’s recollection that he gave to the HOUSTON CHRONICLE:

“I sat down to eat and Ed Wade came to me and very sternly said, ‘You need to come with me to the office.’ I said ‘for what?’ I said ‘I don’t want to go to the office with you and Cooper.’ And I said, ‘You can tell me whatever you got to tell me right here.’ He’s like, ‘Oh, you want me to tell you right here?’ And I said, ‘yeah.’ I’m not yelling. I’m calm.”

Then:

“He [Wade] started yelling and cussing. I’m sitting there and I said to him very calmly, ‘Ed, you need to stop yelling at me. Then I stood up and said ‘you better stop yelling at me.’ I stood up. He continued and was basically yelling and stuff and was like, ‘You need to (expletive) look in the mirror.’ So at that point I lost my cool and I grabbed him by the neck and threw him to the ground. I jumped on top of him because at that point I wanted to beat his ass. Words were exchanged.”

Who wants to bet that when Wade’s version of the story comes out, he switches all the “said calmly” instances with “yelling,” and vice versa?

Either way, looks like it will be way more than 10 games before Chacon gets another pitching decision with the Astros. If ever.