• Michael David Smith of AOL FANHOUSE dresses down Qatar for making Maria Sharapova wear long tights underneath her skirt.

• FAN IQ’s 100% INJURY RATE uncovers a doozy of an Olympic sex scandal - complete with nude pics of opening ceremonies singers and gangsters threatening to cut off arms.

• Barack Obama has Greg Oden’s vote.

• JOE SPORTS FAN would be perfectly happy if they don’t have to hear from Don Shula for a while.

• When it comes to getting fitted for World Series rings, OUT IN CENTER FIELD learns that Jason Varitek won’t toe the company line.

• LOSER WITH SOCKS finds Tennessee fans celebrating the Vols’ big win over Memphis just like their West Virginia hillbilly brethren - by burning a couch.

• THE SPORTS POINT jabs up news that Oscar De La Hoya is looking to buy into an MLS franchise.

Just don’t let him design the team’s uniforms.

• GOING FIVE HOLE keeps track of the ice capades before the NHL trading deadline.

• DC SPORTS BOG gets down with the Caracas Shuffle.