Serena Williams Spits Bile Twice at French Open

Serena Williams doesn’t understand why her life is so full of emotion, you know? Why so much drama?

I’m like one of those girls on a reality show that has all the drama, and everyone in the house hates them because no matter what they do, like, drama follows them. I don’t want to be that girl.

Serena Williams at the 2009 French Open

(”This… is a forearm. Do not make me smack you with it.”)

F’r'nstance, why would her French Open opponent today (Maria Jose Martinez Sanchez) totally lie about being struck by a ball stuck by Serena and be all mean and steal a point that should have belonged to Serena? Why would she do that? And why would Sanchez say it was “stupid” that Williams claimed that was “cheating”? Serena doesn’t want to call people cheaters!

Serena managed to win 4-6, 6-3, 6-4 over Sanchez despite Sanchez being a total cheater with a super cheating face and a cheater butt that cheats.  Also, she managed to win despite “spitting up” (as John McEnroe called it) in the third set, jumping up and down in a way not dramatic fashion a half-dozen times, and making a point of being hyper ladylike by assisting Sanchez on every remotely close line ball.

However, the final shot goes to the AP, which referred to Serena as an “athlete/actress”.  Now that’s how you deal with drama: a slash to the dramatis personæ.