Senior Bowlers Put Beat-Down On Purse Snatcher

Remember when they released the “Cocoon” DVD, and it included that hilarious deleted scene in which all the old people went bowling, and then beat up a teenaged purse snatcher? Oh wait, that might have been real life. Moral of story: Do not attempt to steal things during V.I.P. Trio Summer League at Hillsboro Park Lanes Family Entertainment Center.

The Hillsboro, Oregon, bowling center became an epicenter for chaos recently when a 16-year-old reportedly tried to steal two purses from tables at the bowling alley. Hilarity featuring old people beating up a would-be thief ensued.

The PORTLAND OREGONIAN has the details:

The women, along with other bowlers from the senior league, blocked the 16-year-old’s escape through an exit on the building’s west side. When he ran toward the glass doors at the building’s front, league members were in hot and loud pursuit.

“One lady started screaming,” said Nathan Krawitz, 44, who saw the whole thing.

Johnson said others in the league also sprang into action.

“A bunch of the senior ladies and senior men started hollering at him and chased him,” Johnson said. “That’s when Steve, my son, kind of held him down.”

The center’s front door is sliding glass, and Johnson said that confused the thief long enough for his 22-year-old son to come at him from behind the counter and pin the parried purse-snatcher to the floor.

Several of the senior bowlers dog-piled the teen and held him until police arrived.

And now my favorite paragraph:

Johnson said the youth told police he steeled his nerves for the caper by drinking a beer and some Robitussin cough medicine a few minutes beforehand.