Sen. Obama Bowls Over Audience In Lieu Of Pins

Pennsylvania is important or something for Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton for reasons known probably to those following politics. I’m not sure how the election process works, but if bowling is one of the tiebreakers, consider Obama framed. The Illinois junior senator bowled a 37 in Altoona, Pennsylvania.

Barack Obama bowls 37

(”Senator, this isn’t an election, this is bowling. There are rules. Mark it zero..”)

Now, everyone altogether in your best Dante from “Clerks” voice: “37!?” Poor Obama. At least he’s better at picking basketball teams than another senator.

“My economic plan is better than my bowling,” Obama told fellow bowlers Saturday.

“It has to be,” a man called out.

While hopefully true, it could technically be worse. Observe this handy bowling-to-economy conversion chart:

A 300 in bowling means America owns 100 percent of the world’s funds; the USA can afford to put Isiah Thomas in charge for a few years.

A 200 in bowling means America reached into its coat pocket it hasn’t worn in a few months and found a balanced budget.

A 150 in bowling is average. The Canadians pull even with the United States on both the exchange rate and quality of basketball point guards.

A 100 in bowling means Joe Buck’s old job gets outsourced to India. Consequently, few notice.

A 50 in bowling means another losing season. In response, Gil Meche is appointed to the Supreme Court.

A 37 in bowling means the U.S. dollar pulls even with the Barbados dollar. Matt Millen trades up in the first round to draft the top long snapper as rated by

A 15 in bowling means Donald Sterling takes out a full-page ad announcing he bowled a 173.

A zero in bowling means “Good morning, President Angelos.”