Secret to Racing Success? Frosted Tip Toenails

Scott Speed (whose name is totally made up, no matter what his birth certificate states) has the need: the need for… well, himself.

The young racing stud, who gamely took on Formula One for the previous two campaigns before his driving and his mouth escorted him back to these shores, has taken his first NASCAR Craftsman Truck Series win in only six races. What’s the key to his swift fortunes?

Pedicure

Strong throttle control, of course. (See? We told you it was his porn name.) But how did he attain strong throttle control? By getting a pedicure complete with blue polish on the tips of the toenails. His crew chief relates that “he had his toes painted and that they feel better than they ever did.” Boy, can we bloggers relate. We once showered and felt empowered for days.

There’s obviously only one way to beat Scott Speed now that he’s cracked the code on the Craftsman Truck Series:

Jamie Hyneman in gold paint

Scott Speed busted.