First Volcanic Ozzie Rant Of Season Thrills Fans

As our photo depicts, it was only a matter of time before Ozzie Guillen began using air quotes to describe the White Sox. “So I suppose this is “baseball” we’re playing. I guess we don’t “field the ball” or “move runners into scoring position.” And perhaps we don’t “hit for average” or “care about winning” or “have infielders who are batting over .210.” …

Ozzie Guillen

Guillen, relatively quiet up to this point in 2009, was back in fighting trim on Monday following a 5-4 loss to the Tigers in the first game of a day-night doubleheader. The White Sox squandered several scoring opportunities and generally made a mockery of the concept of fundamentals. Following are quotes suitable for framing.

Reporting is Mark Gonzales of the CHICAGO TRIBUNE, your finest source for Ozzie Guillen rants.

“If this was the 1980s, (none) of these guys would be in the big leagues right now because if you hit .210-.230 and you can’t execute, I don’t think you should be out here,” Guillen said shortly after third baseman Josh Fields went 0-for-4 with two strikeouts and committed an error in the top of the ninth inning that set up the Tigers’ winning rally.

“When you can’t bunt, hit-and-run, squeeze and move the guy over, you better hit 40 home runs and drive in 140. The only positive about this game was (reliever) D.J. Carrasco and a couple home runs here and there. A little excitement, fans got a little excited, and that’s it. … Is the clubhouse closed? We should open it and let them (answer) why they’re so horse (bleep).”

General manager Ken Williams was none to happy himself, storming out of the clubhouse following the game without comment. Chicago came back in the second game of the doubleheader to beat the Tigers 6-1, behind the eight-inning one-hitter by Jose Contreras. It was his first start since being promoted from Triple-A Charlotte.

The result at least staved off another fearsome tongue lashing from their manager. It’s good to have you back, Ozzie. We were getting concerned that you had become normal.

“Maybe I don’t “get along with people” .. uh .. I’m not “housebroken” .. I’m not “fit to live in civilized society.” I’m not “politically correct” and occasionally “scream at little children who want my autograph.” I, uh … “kick puppies” .. and .. maybe I “have several bodies in shallow graves in my backyard” …

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