Sean Avery will no longer be tossed out of New York nightspots or intern at Manhattan magazines, as the fighting forward is headed to Texas.

The CBC reports that the Dallas Stars have signed Avery to a 4-year, $16 million dollar deal. So, what will the Stars be getting for their money?

Well, in the past six months, Sean has:

• Threatened to sue and received an apology from a Toronto sports radio station that reported he directed a slur at Maple Leaf Jason Blake, who has leukemia.
• Forced the NHL to issue a special edict regarding unsportsmanlike conduct after waving his stick by the head of New Jersey goaltender Martin Brodeur for several seconds.
• Suffered a lacerated spleen that ended his playoff campaign prematurely.
• Started an internship at Vogue magazine, a longtime dream.

Maybe Sean can seek an internship at Texas Monthly instead.

And if Avery needs a place to crash when he gets in to Dallas, he can always bunk up with Stars co-GM Brett Hull, as the two were roommates during their playing days together with the Detroit Red Wings.

As for Sean seeking out some fine Texas tail, unfortunately Willa Ford & Jessica Simpson are already taken. Maybe Elisha Cuthbert will take him back. Eh, probably not.

Well, he can always find some companionship through other means.