SbB@3: Lady Wrestlers, Somali Pirates And You

What You Won't Watch logo

If you’re like me, you long for the days of old school AWA wrestling circa 1988, which featured stars such as Curt Henning, Sean Michaels and Sgt. Slaughter. ESPN Classic revisits that magical time this week, but you’re probably not going to see Hulk Hogan or the Road WarriorsVince MacMahon and Jim Crockett had taken them to their respective competing leagues by then.

Wait, I just remembered — I didn’t watch wrestling in 1988. Then how do I know this stuff? Weird. More bad TV following the jump.

TONIGHT

  • 8 p.m., ESPN Classic, pro wrestling: 1988 AWA Wrestling. If you’re expecting Hulk Hogan, the Road Warriors and Ric Flair … sorry; they’ve all left for the WWE by then. So enter Wayne Bloom and Brickhouse Brown. Sad, really. Will probably include Superclash 3, with a large helping of Jerry Lawler. Why not play along on Nintendo with Randy the Ram? Hey, and let’s not forget the ladies’ circuit. Madusa!  (Check out the state-of-the-art computers in the background):

TUESDAY

  • 4 p.m., ESPN2, college football: Ohio Bobcats vs. Buffalo Bulls. MAC showdown at UB Stadium in Buffalo, with nothing much really on the line. Although Ohio is 4-1 in conference.
  • 11 p.m., Versus, auto racing: Quest For The NASCAR Sprint Cup. Or as it is known at my house, Quest for The Remote.

WEDNESDAY

Bill Dance

(The dynamic Bill Dance. If I had known there was so much paperwork involved, I would have never taken up fishing)

  • 12:30 p.m., Versus, outdoors: Bill Dance Outdoors. Advice on fishing lures. Plus, a fishy smell that won’t go way for days.

THURSDAY

  • 7 p.m., Versus, pro football. UFL, Florida at New York. From beautiful Rentschler Field in (checks Mapquest) Hartford, Conn., a titanic tussle featuring former Chiefs QB Quinn Gray for the Sentinels.

FRIDAY

  • 7:30 p.m., ESPNU, college football: Temple at Akron. Fear the Roo.

SATURDAY

  • 11 a.m., BTN, college football: South Dakota State at Minnesota. SDS produced Adam Vinatieri and is the only school I know named the Jackrabbits. Still won’t watch though.
  • 2:30 p.m., FCS Pacific, college football: UCLA at Washington State. Reeks badness from every pore; should not be televised, except as a cautionary tale. Sale of foam No. 1 fingers at concession stands banned by NCAA. Parents bringing their children to this game may be detained by local child welfare.

SUNDAY

  • 7:15 p.m., ESPN, college football: East Carolina at Tulsa. remember the fun we all had when the funsters at NEW RALEIGH.COM updated the pirate logo, as seen above? Those were the days (East Carolina students were not amused). But there was more fun in the EVERY DAY SHOULD BE SATURDAY comments section when someone wrote: “They’re f****d if they schedule Navy.”
  • 1 p.m., Fox, NFL: New Orleans at St. Louis. You can currently get the Saints minus 13 1/2 at a couple of Vegas locations, and the over-under is at 50 … both bargains. Wasn’t it not too long ago when the Rams were the Greatest Show on Turf, and the Saints fans wore the paper bags?

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