WE WOULDN’T HAVE WATCHED BUT WE NEED A NIGHTLIGHT: On this historic day in baseball history, as residents of Los Angeles, we’d like to salute our esteemed neighbors to the north in San Francisco.
It’s comforting to know that the folks in Frisco maintained a rock-solid modicum of dignity and integrity in their eternal, unwavering support of Barry Bonds throughout his noble pursuit of North American sport’s most sacrosanct statistic *thumbs up, smile*.
So let’s all hoist a Spaten to SF’s guys, gals and gender neutrals. We knew you could do it!
We also know we’d be remiss if we didn’t help you wrap your head around Bonds’ gigantic accomplishment.
To give you an idea of just how important this night was, the ASSOCIATED PRESS immediately went looking for reax from Hank Aaron after Barry made NoCal proud, but “a woman who answered the phone at Aaron’s home in Georgia shortly after Bonds’ homer said that Aaron was asleep.
Undaunted, the ASSOCIATED PRESS earlier conducted a poll before Bonds’ big night and found “fully one-fifth — startlingly high among self-identified active fans of the game — just didn’t care“ about the home run record pursuit of the pride of Northern California.
OK, we finally found someone who cares, though he inhabits the Central Coast. Bless his heart.