Sabathia Throws One-Hitter, Hits Scoring System

C.C. Sabathia pitched a gem of a game today in Pittsburgh, allowing one measly hit in nine innings’ work at PNC Park.  The hit, a roller in the general vicinity of the Rotund Rifleman himself, did not get delivered to first in time because the play involved having to bend over.


(I want this to happen.  Thanks for explaining, Milwaukee!)

Now, of course, the Brewers have abandoned all concern about the NL Central race for the day and are preparing a video case for MLB’s Manhattan office to have the hit declared an error and give Sabathia a no-hitter to put on his ample belt.

And, for us, this is the day the no-hitter died.

Of course, a no-hitter will still be neat and we’ll still root for one in person, but come on now.  Are we to believe that Sabathia’s impressive effort (against an unimpressive squad, but still) means more because he got too damned fat to bend over and retrieve a baseball in time?  Making one mistake makes the other efforts more meaningful?  Errors are good?

And, for crying out loud, enough with errors.  Why are we judging defensive success on if a ball bounces off a glove against, say, never having the ability to get to the ball?  In the land of errors, it’s better to field like a third-grader: bend down and smell the dandelions in front of you while the ball sails past.  (That’s why they used to allow weeds in left at Fenway.)

Oh, and how’s this for Pirates fans?  We whooped your backsides (like everyone in the NL Central has all year), but we’re not satisfied with that; we want to rub a no-hitter-sized jock strap in your face, too.

As a Cubs fan, we can only say to the Brewers: eyes on the prize, baby.  Thanks for your help.