“Rowdy” Roddy Piper Gets A “Rowdy” Rod-D-U-I

Roddy Piper, in his defining role as Nada in the seminal classic They Live, uttered one of the finest lines in cinematic history just 20 short years ago: “I came here to chew bubble gum and kick ass, and I’m all out of gum.”

Roddy Piper Mickey Rourke
(Surely an upstanding peer like Mickey Rourke never would have encouraged substance abuse.)

Maybe a little gum would have taken the stink of alcohol out of Piper’s mouth earlier this month, though, as that traffic stop has just landed him charges of DUI and driving without a valid license, according to TMZ. And hey, if you’re going to drive without a license in the first place, why not enjoy a couple (dozen) cocktails first?

Roddy was charged with one misdemeanor count of driving under the influence and one count of driving without a valid license stemming from a late night arrest in Hollywood on July 2nd.

If the 55-year-old wrestling legend is convicted, he faces a maximum of 6 months in jail and a $1,000 fine.

Fortunately, we have EXCLUSIVE footage of Piper trying to fight the charge:

CORRECTION: Earlier, we erroneously wrote that Nada was “trying to fight the charge.” The text should have read, “trying to fight a large man in order to make him put on the sunglasses that let him see whether people are people or if they’re actually zombies that look like people so normal people think they’re people when they’re actually not.” We sincerely regret the purely typographical error.

As for Piper’s immediate future, he faces up to six months in prison, though such a sentence is rarely meted out in full. As Nada once said, though, “Brother, life’s a bitch, and she’s back in heat.” So true, Main Character From Best Movie EVER. So true.