Ronaldo’s Terrifying ‘Night Of A Hundred Trannies’

You see in Brazil, they know how to scorn an opponent. You make your tiny, weak sign accusing Manny Ramirez of taking steroids, they unfurl a giant banner declaring Ronaldo “King of the Transvestites”. Nice teamwork and execution there. Plus, it’s a positive, upbeat message: They’re not saying that Ronaldo is a “dirty transvestite lover” or something like that. He is their king!

Flamengo fans, Ronaldo

Fans of Brazilian soccer club Flamengo are obviously a little peeved at our chubby hero for forsaking their team at the last minute and signing with arch rival Corinthians a while back. Add to that Ronaldo’s infamous run-in with a couple of transvestite hookers last year, and you have the makings for comedy gold on Saturday at Maracanã stadium, when Corinthians came to town. But the banner was only the beginning.

Flamengo fans had planned to meet Ronaldo at the airport the night before the game with 100 transexuals, an assembly they were calling “The Night of 100 Trannies“. Brazil is possibly the only country in which you could pull this off on short notice, but I’m not sure the stunt ever came to pass. Ronaldo, recovering from a wrist injury and liposuction surgery (this is true), did not play on Sunday, and it’s unknown if he was even on the flight.

So Flamengo fans had to settle for the banner, and other fun activities:

Flamengo fans sang chants that labelled him “fat” and “queer.” The Mengão faithful were particularly aggrieved with Ronaldo, who said it would be his “dream” to move to the club at the end of last year. He subsequently trained with Flamengo while recovering from knee surgery, but shunned them at the eleventh hour for bitter rivals Corinthians, adding salt to the wound by implying they had better supporters. Hence, fans at the game on Saturday also labelled him a “traira”, a type of Brazilian freshwater fish whose name is used as a pun for “traitor.”

But all of this pales in comparison to what is happening in Estonia right now. I don’t know how to break this to you so I’m just going to say it: Kaka is missing!

Reassemble those trannies and let’s form a search party.