Ronaldo In Hot Water For Pinching, Pulling Hair

Memorial Day is about America, and how awesome we are. So in that spirit I give you one of the greatest soccer players in history, being given a timeout for fighting like a girl.

Ronaldo

Ronaldo, quite a few years past his prime, is toiling for Corinthians soccer club in São Paulo. TV cameras caught him last week pinching and pulling the hair of an opposing player, and now he’s got to go before a sports tribunal and explain his actions. I think I saw this on a telenovela once.

Video after the jump.

Ronaldo, in typical soccer player fashioned, thought he had been fouled and made a stink about it. When he couldn’t convince the referee he deserved a penalty shot, he went after Botafogo defender Fahel and acted like a 6-year-old in the back seat with his siblings on a long car trip.

Now Ronaldo faces up to a 3-match suspension at his trial next week.

“Without a doubt, Ronaldo is a phenomenon … ,” sports tribunal prosecutor Paulo Schmitt said. “But all players are equal to the tribunal and when they do something wrong they must be denounced.”

Fahel thinks the whole thing is just silly, and offered to testify on Ronaldo’s behalf. Because he knows where his bread is buttered.

“I think he was just upset at the time,” Fahel said. “What happens on the field should stay there.”