Romario Has Sex On Planes, Is Better Than Pele

I’m not sure who the guy is either. I thought he was that one rapper we should all pray for whenever there’s a terrorist attack. But Romario is actually a living, breathing, successful Brazilian football player. He says he’s scored 1,000 goals, something only Pele has accomplished.

Romario, Brazilian soccer player

But he’s not happy to be mentioned in the same breath. Oh, no. Romario says he’s better than Pele. Oh, and he told GOAL.COM that one time he had sex (with a woman!) on a plane (while moving!).

“I did this when I started off with the [Brazilian] national team, in one of my first trips. I don’t remember exactly when,” he recalled on a program on Globo television network. “We took a flight to Switzerland. The rest is history.”

But could the great Pele partake in intercontinental nooky better than Romario? Actually, Romario says no, because if we’re correlating plane sex skill to soccer skill, Romario says Pele wouldn’t be better.

“Because I never saw Pele play, I consider myself better than him,” reasoned the 42-year-old. “But I also know that there is only one Pele. There is only one Maradona as well. And Romario is unique. I don’t see any successor. Inside of the area, I was the best of them all.”

I never saw Pele play either. Guess I’m better than him. Because there is only one Sussman who plays soccer, and he is the one sobbing quietly in the corner, making sure nobody passes the ball to him, for far of kicking it out of bounds.