Rollerblading Grandpa Rages Against Machine

You know how the UK always tries to emulate our culture, but doesn’t get it quite right? (See: their film industry). This is another example. A 71-year-old man from Belfast has been arrested and fined for being a terror on wheels, after he was caught rollerblading through the streets. Yep, he’s Merseyside’s version of skate punks.

Geoff Dornan

The by-laws of Southport, England, prohibit skating, but when you’re 71 years old, what the f*ck do you care? Geoff Dornan was caught on CCTV and fined £2100, or $3,000. “I think people suspect that I am more dangerous than I am,” he said, but let’s be the judge.

Video after the jump.

I think it’s pretty clear that Dornan hasn’t completely mastered this thing called “stopping.” And it’s also clear that with one false move, he’s going to shatter his hip and send bone shards into local crowds like a cloud of shrapnel.

In his defence, Mr Dornan, a retired youth worker, told the court he took up rollerblading seven years ago as a way of keeping fit.

He said he enjoyed skating down the town’s main street as he enjoyed moving to the music from buskers, but he insisted that he always gave right of way to pedestrians.

Except for that one part in the video where he almost ran over the baby carriage.

Chairman of the bench, Fraser Wallace, said: “We find the manner of your skating put pedestrians at risk and exposed them to harm.”

He said it was clear Chapel Street was not meant to be used as a “skate park” and said Dornan’s behaviour “causes a danger” to the public.