The rubber chicken circuit can be a lucrative one with little formal education required. Be famous and mildly entertaining, but mostly be famous. Rich people will line up (apparently in any economy) with cashier’s checks to rub shoulders with you and you gain 10 lbs in three months.
(No, the whole team wasn’t invited to speak. Or do their juggling act.)
Of course, if you invite Dennis Rodman to your Canadian schmooze affair, you’d better bring Junior Ear Muffs for the children and Margaret Dumonts in the crowd ’cause he’s going to cuss up a proper swearstorm worthy of small craft warnings. Sure, some people might walk out, but the rest of your doughy boys will giggle like schoolkids right into the office Monday.
The president of the Halifax Progress Club hosting the fundraiser summed up thusly:
“I sent some emails to our sponsors to get their reaction. Everyone said they had a great time. They said Rodman was the talk of the office but that was pretty much it.“
So much, in fact, that he overshadowed a Trottier in Halifax and Jim Kelly himself. Setting aside the awkward notion of Dennis Rodman running roughshod over a Nova Scotia upper crust collection as likely the only black man in the building (and a clown at that), it’s safe to assume Jim Kelly had no chance of being asked the following:
“Hey, Dennis… is it true each lover of Madonna leaves a note in the ‘Oval Office’ for the next resident? If so, what would you have left for A-Rod? Would it have been something like, ‘Be sure this is the last injection you ever make’?”
(Note: Rodman wasn’t asked this question, either, but don’t you wish he had been?)
The club claimed Rodman received the interview treatment to cut down on the unpleasantries if allowed to rant solo, but that was surely a tertiary concern. For example, we once heard Brian Urlacher “speak” in an interview style at an all-day seminar, the only one to do so all day in a group of actresses, politicians, and other trained con artists.
It wasn’t because Urlacher was likely to start cursing about his custody battle before showing us his pink diapers but because his finely-honed football mind couldn’t rub two sentences together for warmth.
Rodman’s certainly not without a propsenity for words, but his skills lie in building one-man word clouds and not pouring down truth. (This makes Phil Jackson a fully-accredited rainmaker, just one of the many Native American skills he’s gathered over the years.)
Rodman’s swearstorms send people running for cover, but they’re mostly an entertaining way to spend a night stuck indoors. Consider them hot air advisories.