ROCKIES FANS TO “SH**-SMELLING” MASCOT - GO TO HELL: Denver’s WESTWORD repels down the Rockies remarkable run by making a suggestion today:

With the national spotlight now tapped into Coors Field, some Denverites have decided that perhaps the Rockies mascot, named Dinger, isn’t the best representation of what baseball on Blake Street has to offer: “Whereas it has become widely known that we here in Denver play home to the absolutely worst carpet-covered, sh**-and-Febreze-smelling, sorry excuse for a cheerleading, anthropomorphized cartoon fossil, and;

“Whereas newfound national attention for our incredible baseball team will no doubt bring on the mock and scorn of the entire country when the people of this good nation have beamed into their living rooms the image of that purple triceratops from hell, and;

“We, members of the Rockies fan base, hereby request that Colorado Rockies kill Dinger the dinosaur (just the character, not the hard-working actor who has to dress up in that thing for every home game, elementary school performance and nursing home appearance) before we have to take matters into our hands.”