Ricky Williams doesn’t travel to the beat of his own drummer. He invents his own percussion instruments, devises new technology to capture the sounds of the instruments, and then reworks the audio with Pro Tools until it’s indecipherable.  Then he disappears for three months and comes out smelling of patchouli and individualism.

News from Dolphins camp today tells us that Ricky Williams has been attending night school to finish his undergrad degree.  He’s focusing on pre-algebra and English first.  Why?   From the drummer’s mouth himself: “I’ve always been good with numbers.”  Shine on, you crazy Dolphin.

Why would he sign up for night courses at Nova?  Why, just like every other NCAA athlete, he’s preparing to go pro in something besides sports.  He wants to go pre-med so he can study osteopathy.  Osteopathy, as you well know, is glorified massage therapy.  (Note: we just said that to irritate osteopaths.  Do not take medical advice from us as we are not an NFL running back.)