• DEADSPIN gets all twisted in Ankiel-Mania:

• LARRY BROWN SPORTS throws in the towel upon hearing that Mark Cuban would let his team lose in certain situations.

• FAN IQ checks the personals, as Michael Vick is running out of friends.

• The ELYRIA (OH) CHRONICLE-TELEGRAM has a full (ac)count of Grady Sizemore whiffing against a 7-year-old:

• Now that Barry has passed* Hank, THE BIG LEAD wonders what’s Pedro Gomez to do?

• AWFUL ANNOUNCING notes the NBA has unleashed yet another new slogan.

• The ORANGE COUNTY REGISTER beef-tips us news that Luke Walton will have another chance to get burned, as Bill’s boy will appear at a BBQ restaurant grand opening:

• The COLUMBIA (SC) STATE trades in o-lines for octaves, as a former South Carolina football player tries out for “American Idol”.

• TRUE HOOP is not pleased knowing the Sonics may soon skedattle from Seattle for Sooner Country.

• CBS SPORTSLINE does a 1040 in reporting that Darryl Strawberry is once again in trouble with the IRS:

• ANGRY T is walking tall in presenting the big kids of the little league.

• SPORTSQUEE wishes more NFL players were like Warrick Dunn.