If a West Virginia football fan wanted to really drive Michigan head coach Rich Rodriguez insane, they’d inflict the ultimate torture upon him: laryngitis. If Rodriguez couldn’t make ill-timed and thoughtless statements, he might curl up into a ball and weep uncontrollably. Of course, since his mouthiness is our gold mine, we might do the same. Please resist the urge, WVU fans.

We thought we were done with R-Rod’s inability to understand his surroundings yesterday, but he’s the gift that keeps on giving (unless that giving involves a buyout clause). We now discover the last words between West Virginia University President Mike Garrison and Rodriguez.

Garrison, clearly exhausted by R-Rod’s Clash dance, told R-Rod to just choose already.

Now in R-Rod’s own words, taken from an April 21st deposition: “So, I mean, he was talking almost to the point like I wasn’t very intelligent.”

We, uhm… we don’t know where he gets that impression, R-Rod.

Hey, Rich… do you see that WVU lawyer across the room asking you questions? Did you notice the recording equipment in the room? See that nice young lady over there in the corner with the stenographic equipment? Do you know what that means?

Yes, that’s right, R-Rod! This is being recorded! Everything you say is being taken down for posterity forever. Like, permanently. So perhaps you should stick to the week’s worth of practice you spent with your own lawyers for this deposition. Or do you think only your players should be receptive to coaching?