Cornell might still be the academic joke of the Ivy League, but yesterday the school clinched its first conference title in 20 years and an automatic bid into the NCAA Tournament with a 86-53 win yesterday over fair Harvard.

Of course, the Ivy champion has lost in the first round of the tournament the last ten years running. It’s also the only conference that doesn’t have a tournament to determine its champ, because they’re privileged and lame. They think they’re so hot because the schools spend their endowment on things like education. Pfft. Losers.

The Big Red (20-5) is a perfect 12-0 in conference play with two games remaining. Penn and Princeton have been the only two schools to win the conference since Cornell last took it in 1988.