Retiring John Lynch Set To Go Both Ways

John Lynch, who the CDC labels as the number one cause of Alligator Arms, is calling it quits after 15 seasons in the NFL, but he doesn’t want to retire as a Patriot. Can you blame him? Instead he’ll retire as a Buccaneer. And as a Bronco. Huh?

John Lynch

Of course Lynch is most identified with Tampa Bay, and will go into Canton as a Buc. But he’s apparently also proud of the four years of unexceptional football he played in Denver, so his official retirement will be commemorated on Monday, with Bucs and Broncos representatives in attendance. Because they won the coin toss, Tampa will host the ceremony.

Lynch, not too far removed from being the hardest-hitting presence over the middle, was cut in preseason by the Patriots, a team that would apparently rather play someone named James Sanders at free safety. After realizing he’s not going to catch on anywhere else, he decided to return to the, um, teams where he made his name.

Usually these ceremonial “retire-with-the-team-you-made-it-big-with-before-you-left-for-another-team-when-you-were-washed-up” things involve signing a one-day contract. While I admire him for his ploy to pull in two paychecks at once, I’m pretty sure that’s illegal under the CBA. And if he does sign two separate contract, then whichever expires last is the team he retired as.

Or maybe this is all a nice symbolic gesture, and I’m over-thinking and being too cynical about everything.

Laura Quinn

(I can only assume Lynch’s Hall of Fame jersey will look something like this.)