Redskins Cheerleader Car Wash Promo Is A Bit Off

Promotion is a tricky game. Often the usual virtues of ethics and nuance are mere weaknesses, barriers to the type of bombast and distraction that can really grab a viewer’s attention. By this, of course, we mean exclamation points and boobs.

(Please pay attention to the ladies and not the fine print.)

In this world, then, Dan Snyder is a veritable genius, building his team’s fortunes with a generous helping of T&A. That’s teamspirit and attitudecommapositive, if you were wondering. Oh, and sweet, glorious, misleading promotion. For example, the ‘Skins are turning their cheerleaders into car wash bunnies for a promotion, which is exactly the way 2/3 of my pornographic collection starts (I’m what they call a “niche” viewer). Only problem is… well, there’s multiple problems.

First, the, err, meat of the deal. from ESPN 980:

How would you like to see the Redskins take on the Cowboys? – AND have the Washington Redskins Cheerleaders give your car a great SpongeTech wash???

Thanks to SpongeTech, those two dreams CAN come true for 5 lucky winners!

Each winner will receive:

Two tickets and one parking pass to see the Redskins play the Dallas Cowboys at Fed Ex Field on December 27th, 2009!

Two passes to attend the Redskins Tailgate Club party prior to the game!

And a complimentary Spongetech car wash done by Washington Redskins Cheerleaders on November 7th!

Problem #1: As you can see above, the lovely ladies depicted aren’t the cheerleaders. We’re not chalking this one up to outright deception; the truth of the matter is that the Washington cheerleaders are more attractive than these ladies, if less prone to wearing what appears to be a paper towel for a shirt. No, this is probably just a matter of keeping promotional costs down by just using a stock image. Very professional, sirs.

Problem #2: The car wash is scheduled for November 7, about a month from now. We’re no map-ologists, but we’re pretty sure Washington isn’t in a tropical climate. In fact, what do you suppose the typical weather is for that day around there?

Washington DC November Weather
(To be fair, at least it wasn’t scheduled for the day of the game; the poor girls would be dead.)

Mmmm, balmy! This, though, is nothing new for Snyder, who’s been using the cheerleaders as hornball bait for years, according to the WASHINGTON CITY PAPER:

The cheerleader car wash is only the latest and crassest cheerleader innovation Snyder has concocted. He showed his cheerleader-lovin’ hand as soon as he bought the Redskins, and he’s been bringing the craft closer to pole dancing with every season.

Right away, he took control of the Redskinettes, the cheerleaders club that for decades had been run as an independent organization. He changed the group’s name to the Washington Redskins Cheerleaders, trademarked “First Ladies of Football” for them, and immediately started using their skin to promote his team. In 2000 he produced and sold the first Redskins Cheerleaders swimsuit calendar, as well as a making-of rackumentary featuring footage from the calendar shoot called Beauty on the Beach, buying time on WDCA-TV to air the program.

The women’s uniforms, meanwhile, now require a lot less burgundy-and-gold cloth than they did when he bought the team. And the rest of the NFL has followed suit, so to speak.