Red Wings Fan Throws Octopus on Penguins Ice

There are many places where war is fought. The trenches. The air. Behind enemy lines. Through subterfuge. However, when you need one man to fight in all those places, there’s only one person to call. Not Jason Bourne. Not James Bond. Not Sgt. Rock.

Red Wings octopus

(Oh, he done broughtened it.)

You call 19-year-old Red Wings fan Zach Smith. Within a day, he’ll be there to sneak an octopus into Mellon Arena taped to his stomach and rush the ice with it for Game 4’s tipoff. When he’s tossed and threatened with arrest, he’ll change clothes into a cunning disguise (a Red Wings jersey) and stride back in for the rest of the Red Wings’ 2-1 win. Brilliant!

And now, our idea for a movie based on Zach Smith’s amazing adventures:

Smith identifies himself as an adrenaline junkie that will do anything for the rush, including spending $300 on an extra ticket to get back into the NHL Finals and feeling a warm dead octopus rub against his belly button for hours. (We’ll thank you to not bring your Dwyane Wade/Star Jones humor into an NHL story.)

Point Break II

It’s quite obvious to us now that the plot of Point Break II (coming soon-ish!) will be Keanu Reeves mentoring a young Zach Smith in the ways of the Zen law enforcement officer and kicking ass in a most awesome manner armed only with an octopus. Which, if you think about it, is like being pretty well-armed. Whoa.