Red Sox To Use 100-Year-Old Batboy Vs. Yankees

Eighty-six years ago, Arthur Giddon was a batboy for the Boston Braves. This Saturday, he will reprise his role for one batter at Fenway Park during the Red Sox-Yankees game. Giddon is 100 years old now, so the real drama will be whether or not he can get the bat back to the dugout before he craps his pants.

Arthur Giddon

I suppose the fact that he’s only going to be out there for one batter is good, since the average length of a Saturday Red Sox-Yankees game is approximately nine hours (as mandated by FOX). DEADSPIN points us to the story, which appeared in the BOSTON HERALD.

And, if you’re wondering if there are any quality “old guy quotes” in this story, you won’t be disappointed:

“One of my favorites was Tony Boeckel, the third baseman, a rough-andtumble kind of guy. And we all loved Billy Southworth; he was the captain and right fielder. There was Hod Ford at second, Bob Smith at short, and a couple of catchers: Mickey O’Neil and Hank Gowdy.

“But Walter Holke was the one I liked best. He played first and lived right near our house, so I grew up with his son; Walter taught us how to make kites, which I would later teach my grandchildren.”

Man, those were the days. Those guys were real ballplayers. I don’t see Albert Pujols teaching any of his neighbors how to make kites.

Sadly, Giddon has some problems seeing, so he recognizes players in other ways:

“I can still enjoy watching a game because I recognize the shape of Big Papi, and Kevin Youkilis is easy to spot by the way he bats, jumping up and down.”

In other words, Papi’s such a lardball that even centenarians with macular degeneration know where he is.

Here’s hoping there isn’t a close play at the plate during the one plate appearance he’ll be on the field for. I’m not sure how to score it if Nick Swisher misses home plate because he plowed into an old guy.