Red Sox Bust Two For Roids (Not Papi & Manny)

After the shocking-but-not-really news about Manny Ramirez and David Ortiz getting outed as two of the positive tests in the “anonymous” MLB steroid tests of 2003 (can we get a list of all “lawyers with knowledge” and out them, by the way? This leaking is kind of shady.), it seems like Boston’s eager to make sure their championship team doesn’t get rebranded as the “Roid Sox.”

Jared Remy Nicholas Cyr
(Wait, that guy had access to steroids? Get right outta town!)

This latest news can’t help, though. The BOSTON GLOBE is reporting that the team had to fire two longtime security employees - one of whom is an announcer’s son - for owning and using steroids. Whoops.

As the Globe reported, Jared Remy (son of Jerry Remy) and Nicholas Cyr were questioned by the Red Sox and MLB, but the inquiry was, in some eyes, insufficient:

Both men were fired in a case that speaks to both Major League Baseball’s new intolerance for steroids and its inconclusive efforts to investigate suspicious cases.

The security staffers said they were dismissed after what they termed a cursory inquiry by Major League Baseball, and very limited questioning by the team - even though one of the guards says he swapped advice about steroids with David Ortiz’s close friend and personal assistant.

“What they termed a cursory inquiry”? They? We’re not professional stereotypers here or anything, but we will bet one crisp Andy Jackson that neither of those two men has the word “cursory” in their lexicographical repertoire.

But we digress. The part about Ortiz’s personal assistant seems mildly important, given recent current events, but as Barry over at DEADSPIN notes, this story is more about the implications than the actual facts:

Alex Cyr was busted with a vial of steroids last July, which started everything unraveling. Cyr was more than security, he was a part-time assistant to Manny Ramirez, often running errands for the slugger. Implication number one.

Cyr told investigators he bought his steroids from co-worker Jared Remy […]. Remy, for his part, was very close to Felix Leopoldo Marquez, and claims he and Marquez openly discussed and used steroids together. Marquez was a salaried personal assistant to David Ortiz. Implication number two.

But, again, the good stuff — the stuff the Globe wishes it could report, and the stuff fans want to read — just isn’t here.

Above all else, it’s a matter of perceptions. If a fan wants to believe the Red Sox were largely clean, they still may; as the Globe reported, there was no indication that steroids were being sold in the clubhouse. If someone wants to believe the club was just overflowing with synthetic hormones, well, here you go.

And if you don’t give a crap, well, this probably won’t change anything either. Still, for those who do care, having powerful steroids floating around the periphery of a major league ballclub is certainly, well, less than good. We’ll upgrade to “bad” if word of in-clubhouse sales leaks.