Hey, you there - yeah you, about to go for a run. I see you over there doing your ridiculous overdramatic stretching, with your designer moisture-wicking running clothes on, $300 running shoes, and iPod attached to your upper arm. You think you’re pretty rad, don’t you? Congrats on running that 5k last weekend, that $50 you and your firm (matching funds, brah) raised for the fight against Brain Cloud will really make a huge difference in the world.
(Don’t mind me, just out for a quick run.)
But do us all a favor, won’t you? Stop acting like you’re some sort of hardened athlete. Jogging around on flat asphalt is something that anyone with a BMI under 40 can do with a little bit of effort. You want to impress the ladies? Enter a real man’s race like the Welsh Bog-Snorkelling Triathlon, which a true badass by the name of Dan Bent won over the weekend. Get Bent and learn how real men race, after the jump.
When most people around these parts think of snorkelling, they think of tropical vacations spent off the coast of Caribbean islands. Britain, however, takes a much gloomier and un-tropical view of life. Behold, the TELEGRAPH’s description of the Bog-Snorkelling Triathlon:
To cross the finish line, competitors have to run seven-and-a-half miles, complete two lengths of the town’s infamous 135-foot long, six-foot deep bog and cycle 19 miles across the most demanding of mountain terrain.
Mr Bent, a seasoned triathlete who is about to cycle 9,000 miles to India for charity, said it was one of the hardest events he has ever done.
Cheers to you, Mr. Bent. Anyone who would willfully subject themselves to this is a hero in our book. So take note, weekend jogger d-bag - that’s how to run a race.