Rays Don’t Know Who to Get for Playoff First Pitch

This is too good to pass up. Fresh off clinching the franchise’s first-ever playoff berth, the Tampa Bay Rays now face a serious problem: Who will throw out the first pitch in their first playoff game?

Ever-diplomatic for such a previously woeful franchise, the Rays’ first instinct was to make it public through the WASHINGTON POST that you’re not worthy. You, as in, anyone:

“We don’t have anyone to throw out the ball for our first playoff game,” Tampa Bay President Matt Silverman said. “MLB asked us who it’d be. We realized nobody in the history of the franchise had done anything to be worthy of the honor.”

I have a feeling that for longtime organization employees, that’ll leave a mark!

Silverman isn’t exactly wrong, of course. The Rays have been a disaster until this year, but them’s harsh words out in the open like that. The Post’s Thomas Boswell suggests Gen. David Petraeus, as Central Command is headquartered in Tampa. That or … Dick Vitale? Maybe they can get one of the animals from nearby Busch Gardens to make the pitch and just avoid human beings altogether?

The mind boggles. If all else fails there’s suddenly famous Ryder Cup captain & Tampa resident Paul Azinger, who told USA TODAY: I want to throw out the first pitch at a Rays game.

Or the very-much-available 104-year-old Cubs fan.

Who should throw out the first pitch at the Rays’ first-ever home playoff game?

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