“Speed Racer” makes its pit stop in movie theaters this Friday. So, ESPN THE MAGAZINE decided to send a couple of real racers to review the film.

(Graham & Bobby Rahal embrace atfter surviving a “Speed Racer” screening)

And Bobby & Graham Rahal were given the honors. Bobby is a former Indy 500 winner and race team co-owner with David Letterman, while son Graham recently won the IRL Honda Grand Prix.

So, what did the Rahals think of this latest cinematic offering from the guys that brought you “The Matrix”?

Well, Bobby thought “Speed Racer” was in need of an overhaul:

I suspect you would have to be a religious Speed Racer fan to make much sense of it, but even still, this is a movie that I imagine mostly kids will enjoy, not their parents who grew up on the cartoon. The kids might like the racing scenes. Personally, the computer animation graphics assaulted my senses.

So, did Bobby’s own kid enjoy it? Apparently not:

Well, I certainly never watched Speed Racer, and maybe that’s why I was so bored with the movie because I couldn’t follow the plot. Of course, I understood the family story line and the Racer X stuff and all that, but the rest of it? What a mess.

Was there anything at all that the Rahals found satisfactory in the film? Well, Graham did enjoy at least one realistic moment *SPOILER ALERT - well, not really*:

When Speed won the race and downed the milk, that’s what drivers do after winning the Indy 500. So that was cool, and I hope to be doing that someday.

As for Bobby, there was one saving grace:

Only highlight for me was that there was nothing about NASCAR in it.

BA-ZING!

We greatly respect the elder Rahal’s opinions (since he once won us $50), so we’ll probably take a pass on this Race-y film.

But if the Wachowski Brothers can get Danica Patrick & Ashley Force to show up in the sequel (and you know they’ll be one), we’ll be first in line for that matinee.