Quidditch Remains Only Game More Fraudulent Than Beckham MLS Debut

WE FOUND A GAME MORE FAKE THAN BECKHAM MLS DEBUT: The ASSOCIATED PRESS reports today that Nielsen BookScan said “2,652,656 copies of ‘Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows’ were sold in Britain in the 24 hours after it went on sale in England at midnight London time“. And in the U.S. over eight million copies were sold in the first day of sales.

Harry Potter Patronus

That kind of popularity makes it a little easier to stomach someone like Bucknell University student Stephen Dewey. Dewey, like many college students, is obssessed with Harry Potter. No, make that OBSSESSED.

In the Harry Potter series, characters play a supernaturally-charged game called Quidditch. Wikipedia describes the game as a “semi-contact sport played by wizards and witches on flying broomsticks using four balls and six elevated ring-shaped goals.


Inspired by about a dozen pre-existing Quidditch “leagues” in the U.S., Mr. Dewey recently decided he wanted to create a real-life version of the game as well, but as he notes to REUTERS, “A lot of that you can’t really replicate because we are not witches and wizards.

Undeterred, Dewey is planning his first match for September, but he hasn’t had as much luck in recruiting candidates as you might think: “Running around on brooms does appeal to a surprising number of college students.” (Dewey is obviously unaware that Jagermeister is the lubricant of all awkward, ill-advised collegiate interaction)


The Bucknell student does claim to have commits from 40 other students, no doubt lured by the fact that “he has received $150 from the college to buy supplies, including hula hoops and a volleyball that stands in for the fictional ‘quaffle.’

40 college student armed with broomsticks, volleyballs and hula hoops while playing a fake game? And nary a mention of illegal intoxicants? Now we’re really starting to fret about the next generation.