PSU’s “Terrelle Cryer” T-Shirts Seem A Bit Creepy

In the Big Ten’s best game of the week (and one of the best of the season thus far) on Saturday, Ohio State travels to Penn State in a top 15 clash that’ll effectively decide two of the top three places in the conference. It’s a rematch of last year’s epic battle in Columbus, where Terrelle Pryor fumbled the ball late in the game and allowed Penn State to win, 13-6. Pryor sat on the sidelines devastated after the game, and a meme was born.

Penn State t-shirt design Terrelle Cryer
(Whoa, what the hell?)

Penn State students decided to take hold of said meme, and decided to make “Terrelle Cryer” t-shirts for this year’s game in Happy Valley. As you can see from the above illustration, Penn State fans have disturbing tastes.

That Pryor-Nittany Lion illustration is straight out of…

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On Nov. 7, the Penn State-Ohio State rivalry continues. To prepare for the football game against Penn State’s biggest opponent, the Penn State Marketing Association has designed a special Ohio State-themed White Out T-shirt.

Penn State Marketing Association (PSMA) President Dan Sturman (senior-marketing) said his club is excited about the shirt, especially its focus on Pryor.

“After we beat Ohio State last year, you couldn’t walk through a dorm without seeing the picture of Terrelle Pryor with his head in his hands,” Sturman said. “That vivid image is still on everyone’s mind.”

“We picked it because it’s a great design,” PSMA Director of Retail Marketing Anna Dominijanni (senior-marketing) said. “The guy who designed them is really talented.”

Okay, time out, because we need to address a few serious issues here.

Problem #1: That is the most jacked Nittany Lion I have ever seen and it appears to be one scarf away from total nudity.

Here’s the real PSU mascot.

Penn State mascot

They probably haven’t changed that design since when JoePa was in diapers, but that’s part of the charm of the Big Ten. Anyway, that thing isn’t wearing clothes. It’s when you start making it incredibly anthropomorphic and bodybuildy that the lack of clothes becomes more jarring.

Also, Terrelle Pryor is 6′6″, so that thing must be like 7′5″. It makes Shaq look like J.J. Redick.

Problem #2: That’s the single worst drawing of Terrelle Pryor I’ve ever seen.

We’ll say one about t-shirt arteest Jinder Bhogal: it totally does not surprise us that he’s not an art major. “Cryer” looks nothing like Pryor; he looks birth-defected and possibly East Asian. One of his ears was taken from Bat-Boy and the other is missing. It’s a mess, no matter how much detail went into the uniform.

Problem #3: Their dynamic is really creeping me out right now.

Okay, you know that really weird erotic fan-fiction on the Internet where people take two characters and put them in strange, convoluted plots that inevitably lead to dirty sex with each other? Doesn’t that picture seem far more appropriate for that fan-fiction than for students a football game? We’re one crotch-grab away from needing to take a nap and then drink away the memories.

Problem #4: This is actually an official Penn State shirt.

Yes, we said that already, but that just blows our mind. Nice work, PSU. Top-notch.