Penn St., UNC Scents Don’t Smell Like Teen Spirit

Penn State and North Carolina fans have a lot to cheer about at the moment. Both football teams are headed to bowls, Penn State’s in the midst of a Joe Paterno resurgence that’s earned them a ticket to the Rose Bowl, and UNC looks unbeatable on the court.

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Well, things just got a little bit better. Or at least stranger. According to the ASSOCIATED PRESS, Nittany Lion and Tar Heel fans and alums can now buy perfumes and colognes that smell like the schools. Or at least they’re supposed to. Disappointingly, Eau de Penn State reportedly smells like a blend of vanilla, lilac, rose and white patchouli rather than football, sweat, drunken Big Ten stall sex and general musk.

As for North Carolina, evidently the essence of Chapel Hill is all contained in jasmine, rose, sheer vanilla and amber woods. Or, as Masik Collegiate Fragrances puts it, “A light, fresh and feminine translation of Carolina Blue for the Carolina woman.” Whatever you say, Masik.

“It’s very romantic and it has Southern charm,” Katie Masich, the founder of Masik Fragrances told ASK THE WHIFF GUYS.

If you’re disappointed that your school doesn’t smell like iced Juniper, Lavender, sunny Geranium, Jasmine and White Pepper, well, don’t worry. Masik plans to unveil a series of collegiately-themed perfumes and colognes, with a swing through the SEC — Florida, Georgia, Alabama, Tennessee, Auburn and LSU are all planned — to be released in coming months. Good luck breaking down the scent of Rocky Top. That’s entirely too complicated to bottle if you ask us.