Um, Pro Wrestling Actually Punishes Steroid Use?

It was just announced that Rey Mysterio (né Oscar Gutierrez) was suspended by the WWE for steroid use. If you’re like us, you’re utterly shocked, SHOCKED… that the WWE actually tests for that stuff. With all due respect to the wrestlers who build their bodies naturally, um, look at your colleagues.

Rey Mysterio
(This guy? He’s the big drug user? Really?)

But sure enough, according to WRESTLESCOOP.COM, that little guy without the enormous muscles is the one guy in the federation that tested positive for ‘roids. Even more surprisingly, his name’s been attached in some way to banned substances for years.

From WrestleScoop:

On March 19, 2007, the official website of Sports Illustrated posted an article in its continuing series investigating a steroid and HGH ring used by a number of professional athletes in several sports. The article mentioned several current and former WWE wrestlers — including Mysterio — as being tied to the ring. David Wilbirt, an Arizona doctor, allegedly issued prescriptions for the anabolic steroids nandrolone (also known as Deca-Durabolin) and stanozolol (also known as Winstrol) to Mysterio over the Internet between November 2004 and April 2005. Wilbirt had been investigated by the Drug Enforcement Agency from 2001 to 2005 for allegedly writing 3,879 prescriptions between November 2004 and April 2005, all for “patients” who had requested drugs over the Internet.

WWE later made a statement on the situation, mentioning that the allegations preceded the drug testing program the company launched in February 2006. Through WWE, Mysterio declined commenting on the allegations to Sports Illustrated.

Okay, that’s bad stuff. But it lacks the lurid details one would expect from an organization like the WWE… oh, I’m sorry, there’s more? And it involves the worst person imaginable? Do go on:

Mysterio’s name would once again be linked to a shady doctor later that year following the Chris Benoit double murder and suicide.

Oh dear.

On this occasion, his name was being linked to the federal investigation of Benoit’s physician, Dr. Phil Astin III. He was later sentenced to 10 years in federal prison for his conviction on illegally dispensing prescription drugs to 17 patients from 2002 until his arrest in 2007. One of the patients he was arrested for improperly dispensing medications to was “O.G.”, which happens to be the initials of Mysterio’s real name, Oscar Gutierrez. It was later confirmed by ABCNews.com that “O.G.” was indeed WWE wrestler Rey Mysterio. In the indictment filed against Astin, it was disclosed that “O.G.” had been prescribed 120 Percosets, 150 Lorcets and refills allowed for 450 more Lorcets on June 28, 2006. He received a similar level of medication a few weeks later on July 20, 2006.

That, folks, is an unholy amount of medication. Mysterio says it’s for his six knee operations, and yes, we imagine the combination of his chicken-wire knees and high activity level - even by WWE standards - probably leads to severe knee pain. And nobody’s on him for painkiller use, even though they’re responsible for more young deaths in the WWE than steroids.

But we’re still just stunned that someone got burned, and it was this little Mysterio pipsqueak. Just for a point of comparison, here are some other wrestlers who haven’t been busted for steroid use:

Ultimate Warrior
This guy

Scott Steiner
Also this guy

Batista
Oh, that looks normal

Rey Mysterio, sir, you FAIL.