LATE NIGHT STAND-UPS LAUGH AS PRO SPORTS FALL DOWN: Letterman and Leno monologues are a somewhat decent barometer of what Americans (over 60) are thinking. So it comes as no surprise that the foibles of pro sports leagues covered more than half their stand-ups last night.
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Leno: “The NBA schedule for next season will be released in about a month and after that’s released, NBA referee Tim Donaghy will release a list of the winners.”
“Huge scandals are rocking all three major sports right now: the NFL with Michael Vick of course, the NBA with the gambling thing, baseball with steroids. In fact, ESPN and Court TV have now merged. I’ll tell you, scandals can kill a sport. Remember hockey? I don’t think hockey ever recovered from that Jason guy stabbing everybody.”
“I went on eBay the other day and bought a Michael Vick doll. It turns out it’s my dog’s favorite chew toy now.
“As you know by now, Michael Vick has been ordered by the [NFL] not to report to practice. Actually, do you know who turned Michael Vick in: Dog the Bounty Hunter.”
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Letterman: “To give you an idea how nice it is here in New York City, earlier today that crooked referee was betting on games in the park. This is a horrible story on that NBA referee. He was fixing games and he was betting on games and he resigned and there’s going to be a criminal investigation. However, on the good side of this, since he already had the outfit, earlier today he got a job at Foot Locker.”
“Barry Bonds is only three home runs away from becoming the all-time home run king, and when it happens, I just hope he doesn’t get a big head.”
Leno’s first Donaghy joke about releasing winners is mildly amusing After that, we guess you had to be there.
