• This should go over well: The UK DAILY EXPRESS leaps at the news of prison officials teaching inmates to pole vault:

• Tom Van Riper of FORBES.COM rips apart the myth of the high-priced closer.

• Joe knows Enrico Palazzo - THE SPORTS HERNIA reveals that the new Dodgers manager was in “The Naked Gun“.

• Emmitt Smith hates America, as AWFUL ANNOUNCING hears the ESPN analyst talking over the National Anthem:

If the Cowboys great gets canned by the Worldwide Leader, he can always find work in Boston.

• IN FROM THE COLD takes a look at a Navy player who’s gone through hardship just to be part of the Midshipmen’s historic win against Notre Dame.

• Just as Navy ended a 43-year drought, BUGS & CRANKS gives congrats to the Chunichi Dragons, who clinched their first Japan Series championship in 53 years.

• This makes no cents: The BBC reports that Brady-buddy Gisele Bundchen doesn’t like to be paid in American dollars:

Does this mean Tom is going to demand his salary in sheckels?

• CORN NATION blames Pete Carroll for bringing Bill Callahan to Nebraska.

• SPORTS COLUMN demands a recount, as Arkansas RB Darren McFadden didn’t break the SEC record for rushing in a game, but only tied it.

• Time for Lee Corso to retire, as JEN’S FREE THROWS catches the ESPN analyst mistaking the Oregon Ducks QB with the Arizona State head coach:

• WAGGLE ROOM falls over the news that Phil Mickelson’s caddy was down a stroke - a heat stroke.

• EVERY DAY SHOULD BE SATURDAY gets word that Gary Barnett has his evil eye on the SMU job - just as long as there aren’t any female kickers in Dallas.