Prepare For The William & Mary Fighting Asparagi

It is well known that in the vegetable kingdom, none is more respected than the fearsome asparagus. That’s why some William & Mary students were wise to nominate it recently as the school’s new athletic mascot.

Asparagus, Stockton Ports

William & Mary for decades was known as the Indians, but the school changed its nickname to Tribe in the 1980s, and now wants to revamp its mascot. Administration officials said Monday that more than 400 nominations have been submitted, and more than one person has voted for the asparagus. Asparagi?


The NCAA ruled in 2006 that the college could keep the Tribe nickname but its feathered logo was demeaning to Native Americans and had to go. The school’s athletic teams will still be called the Tribe, but the college wants a mascot that may — or may not — match the nickname.

The asparagus stalk supporter notes that if served with cheese, the vegetable represents the school colors.

Why shouldn’t the institution that gave us Thomas Jefferson, James Monroe and Pittsburgh Steelers head coach Mike Tomlin have an asparagus as its mascot? It certainly can’t be any worse than the previous attempt.

I’m sure that a certain DAILY SHOW host heartily approves:

Jon Stewart