Somehow, news of one of the greatest breakups of all-time hasn’t reached this shore yet, probably because the couple involved isn’t particularly notable to American fans. With that in mind, we’re going to try and put this in a context a little more familiar: Imagine if Eva Longoria dumped husband Tony Parker with a status update on FACEBOOK. Now take that and put it in a country where the NBA is the only relevant sports league. Well, that’s exactly what happened to former English Premier League striker Michael Chopra, whose wife — former British reality TV star Heather Swan — changed her facebook status to single without even telling him beforehand earlier this month.

(They do kinda look like the first FACEBOOK celebrity breakup, don’t they?)

Without missing a beat, Chopra — a Sunderland striker on loan in Wales at Cardiff City –  cancelled his wife’s cell phone contract and posted on his own profile that, “Heather will have a new number tomorrow, ha ha.” Well played sir, well played.

For her part, Ms. Swan offered an equally biting rebuttal about the relationship via the unfortunate intermediary that is the couple’s one-year-old son, claiming that he is the only cute result of the couple’s marriage.

The amazing thing is that, as shocking as it was, this didn’t create nearly the stir in UK media that you might expect. Can you imagine what would happen if the aforementioned Longoria scenario played out here in the U.S.? The coupe would be on the cover of Us Weekly and in the punchlines of every ESPN THE MAGAZINE and SPORTS ILLUSTRATED Page 2 joke.

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