• UH, MR. (L.A.) MAYOR, WHAT ABOUT THE AMERICANS? Los Angeles Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa to the Olympic website AROUNDTHERINGS.com on the city’s so-called advantage in its nonsensical bid to host the 2016 Games:

“Every Olympic delegation will have a fan base here.”
• SONNY VACCARO BEEFS ABOUT KOBE, HOLDS MAYO: Sonny Vaccaro, former shoe company bloodsucker executive, to the LOS ANGELES TIMES this week on O.J. Mayo: “When you see him come out [to L.A.] in June or July you’ll see he’s a strong-willed sucker. O.J. is going to be special. Unlike that other superstar, Kobe, if O.J. says something it will happen.”

With that in mind, you best not stand near any rails around O.J. anytime soon.

• SUPER FUN = PORN WHORES WITH CLOTHES ON? THE EAST VALLEY (AZ) TRIBUNE reports the Lingerie Bowl will be back as halftime fodder for next year’s Super Bowl in Phoenix.

And that Jenna Jameson “will be a color commentator for the game“.

• ADIOS, LOS JORGE DEPORTES MACHINA! George Michael’s nationally syndicated “Sports Machine” show will air for the final time on March 25.

No word if he’s mothballing the show to collect on a large cash offer for the multi-colored-lights-flashing machine from the local Chuck E. Cheese.

• Jim Romenesko’s Obscure Store has this headline: “Indiana man tries to cash $50,000 check from God.”

Yeah, the man is now in trouble with the law, I guess he forgot Bob Knight left IU some time ago.

• SO MUCH FOR THAT DELTA FLIGHT TO DUSSELDORF: USA TODAY reports Bonnie Bernstein has been diagnosed with “potentially life-threatening deep-vein thrombosis [DVT], also known as blood clots.”

If this doesn’t spur a major push for reinstating Melissa Stark to the sidelines, nothing will.

• $60M DOESN’T BUY THE MARKETING THAT IT USED TO: The BOSTON GLOBE reports Curt Schilling’s Green Monster Games has a $60M operating budget and 38 employees. Schilling has “recently hired someone from EA Sports to run the day-to-day operations for him.”

The BOSTON HERALD, via SPORTS BUSINESS DAILY, also reports Schilling “took full advantage of the intense international press coverage that the team is receiving” to hand out T-shirts for his 38studios.com games company to Daisuke Matsuzaka and Hideki Okajima, as well as “every member of the Japanese media.”

The shirts had “World Domination Through Gaming -– 38studios.com” printed in Japanese. Schilling also gave Spanish-language T-shirts to teammates from the Dominican Republic, Puerto Rico and Venezuela.

• DUMBBELL TAKES TOLL ON K.C. BASEBALL FANS: Royals manager Buddy Bell to the KANSAS CITY STAR on new polyester fabric hats being used by MLB: “I hate this. One of the key things is we look good. This doesn’t help.”

Yeah, that’s been a key thing for Royals fans the past 20 years.

• FENWAY TO FEATURE BAD HABIT ALL SUMMER LONG: THE BOSTON GLOBE reports Red Sox manager Terry Francona, is trying to “quit his smokeless tobacco habit, has agreed to a bet” Bosox President Larry Lucchino about his kicking the habit.

If Francona quits for the season, Lucchino will donate $20,000 to the Dana-Farber Cancer Institute. If Francona takes a pinch before the year’s final out, he’ll give $20,000 “to a charity to be named“.

Perhaps Francona will donate the money to Devil Rays fans, since their condition is about as terminal as most cancer patients.

• NFL READY TO KICKOFF FAKE FOOTBALL IN CHINA: The NEW YORK TIMES reports Chinese athletes Gao Wei, Ding Long and Shen Yalei on Monday will try out for NFL Europe teams in Tampa.

The three will be given a shot to dress out as kickers during the NFL exhibition game in Bejing between the Seahawks and Patriots on August 9.

NFL executives hilariously insist that “using a Chinese kicker in the exhibition game in Beijing would not be a stunt,” but the Patriots and Seahawks have already “agreed to suit up one (Chinese) player — not necessarily to use him.”

I’m sure the NFL just wants to give these three guys a shot to achieve their dreams, and that having them on the teams just to raise interest among in-country, TV-watching, jersey-buying Chinese has nothing to do with it.

Kind of like invading Iraq was all about Saddam Hussein’s unspeakably brutal treatment of his countrymen.

• THIS GLOBAL WARMING STUFF IS STARTING TO GET SERIOUS: The BOSTON HERALD reports the MLB Winter Meetings will be held in Boston in 2010. The event hosts 5,000 minor and major league execs and agents.

Does baseball know something we don’t know?

• WINNING IS BAD FOR BUSINESS IN THE CFL: The EDMONTON SUN reports that the CFL Edmonton Eskimoes made money this season - only because the franchise lost money.

Even though the team was $850,000 (Canadian) over the salary cap last season season, the club posted a $610,168 profit, “partly because the club missed the playoffs.”

Eskimos President Rick LeLacheur said the main reason was logistic costs of holding playoff games - and the potential cost of championship rings. that in ‘05, the Eskimos had to spend almost $365,000 “”in Grey Cup costs –- from travel to championship rings.”

So team only had a $163,839 profit that year.

So I guess that confirms what we’ve all known for many, many years. Kansas City Royals Owner David Glass is one helluva businessman.