Pole Dancing Mormons Make Push For Olympics

When we last saw the Mormons, they were attempting to murder love. Having succeeded on that, they’ve apparently moved on to more pressing concerns: getting pole dancing into the Olympics.

Pole Dancing Mormons

From CBS 2 in Salt Lake City comes this report of the newest craze to sweep Utah: pole dancing for fitness. If you remember this fad being big a few years ago, you’re right; I like to picture Utah kind of like the Middle East, where it takes about 20 years for pop culture to spread. The new Pat Benatar cassettes are just hitting Tehran now. (Video of Mormon housewives in spandex, at your own risk, after the jump.)


So there you have it: “pole fitness,” as proponents like to call it, if only to separate it from the good kind of pole dancing.I’d be remiss if I didn’t point out the woman who tries to justify her six-inch stripper heels by saying they’re great for the calf muscles. I’m just her husband, and his other wives, wouldn’t really mind if she wore them home.

While there are some Olympians I wouldn’t mind seeing take the stage, and while it probably is quite difficult to swing from your ankles while keeping singles from falling out of your shoe strap, this does seem like something of a long shot for London in 2012. The reporter breathlessly notes that the petition to have pole dancing made an official sport “now has 300 signatures from people all over the world.” Shall we put that into perspective? The petition to “nuke the moon” has 288.