When we last saw the Mormons, they were attempting to murder love. Having succeeded on that, they’ve apparently moved on to more pressing concerns: getting pole dancing into the Olympics.
From CBS 2 in Salt Lake City comes this report of the newest craze to sweep Utah: pole dancing for fitness. If you remember this fad being big a few years ago, you’re right; I like to picture Utah kind of like the Middle East, where it takes about 20 years for pop culture to spread. The new Pat Benatar cassettes are just hitting Tehran now. (Video of Mormon housewives in spandex, at your own risk, after the jump.)
So there you have it: “pole fitness,” as proponents like to call it, if only to separate it from the good kind of pole dancing.I’d be remiss if I didn’t point out the woman who tries to justify her six-inch stripper heels by saying they’re great for the calf muscles. I’m just her husband, and his other wives, wouldn’t really mind if she wore them home.
While there are some Olympians I wouldn’t mind seeing take the stage, and while it probably is quite difficult to swing from your ankles while keeping singles from falling out of your shoe strap, this does seem like something of a long shot for London in 2012. The reporter breathlessly notes that the petition to have pole dancing made an official sport “now has 300 signatures from people all over the world.” Shall we put that into perspective? The petition to “nuke the moon” has 288.
11:08 am on November 20th, 2008
Pole dancing at the Olympics? Where do I sign up?
11:13 am on November 20th, 2008
Did she say there was male pole dancing too? Ewwwww.
11:16 am on November 20th, 2008
Isn't this against the Mormon religion or something?
11:20 am on November 20th, 2008
There's something very sexy about Mormom moms pole dancing, even if the clothes stay on. Probably the forbidden factor of it all.
11:28 am on November 20th, 2008
And the Olympic tryouts can be held at Spearmint Rhino.
11:32 am on November 20th, 2008
If the Olympics don't work out, at least these Mormon moms found a new way to supplement their income.
11:37 am on November 20th, 2008
I'm a great admirer of athletic ability like this.
11:40 am on November 20th, 2008
It's kind of a shame all their Olympic donations come only in singles.
11:47 am on November 20th, 2008
As far as I know, this fad is still pretty popular. At least among the guys (watching, not participating).
11:55 am on November 20th, 2008
Who needs London? These ladies should hold their own pole dancing Olympics in Salt Lake City. They're already held the Winter Olympics there in 2002, so why not?
12:05 pm on November 20th, 2008
Who gets to wipe the poles when they're done?
12:28 pm on November 20th, 2008
Sounds like a great sequel to "Footloose".
1:04 pm on November 20th, 2008
I appreciate the Mormon stereotypes, did you know all people in India wear turbans too? With that said, I need to move to the SLC, all the women here in south central Utah are butt ugly.
1:26 pm on November 20th, 2008
I first read this as "Pole Dancing MORONS". But there's nothing moronic about women wanting to pole dance.
3:35 pm on November 20th, 2008
This is the kind of sport where "take a lap" has a whole new meaning.
9:11 pm on November 20th, 2008
This doesn't seem right.
Or maybe it does.
11:30 am on November 21st, 2008
Some of those pole dancers are looking pretty good.
12:59 pm on November 21st, 2008
So I guess now that they have defeated the gays in CA… they can get down to business… dirty, dirty business. Hypocrites.
1:23 pm on November 21st, 2008
They can't be "good" Mormons if they're not wearing their garments. Even if they're "bad" Mormons, I pray that those poles have been properly blessed and sanctified.
If this sport gets into the Olympics, then we would be spiritually remiss if we didn't include the sport of "holding fast to the iron rod."
5:36 pm on November 21st, 2008
Pole dancing for men? Uh, I don't think so. My balls ain't signing up for no pole dancing! I don't think there are too many men who would consider risking the obvious pain that would go with pole dancing? Those LDS women sure are PERVY ladies! Give me a break about the hooker shoes! "They really work out my calf muscles," says Mormon house wife. Uh huh… yea…. right.
3:32 pm on November 22nd, 2008
Thank you, SbB, for keeping hate, prejudice and misperceptions alive and well with your idiotic posts.
3:53 pm on November 22nd, 2008
> Thank you, SbB, for keeping hate,
> prejudice and misperceptions alive
> and well with your idiotic posts.
You're welcome!
Here's a tissue…
4:17 pm on November 22nd, 2008
For those of you confused, these are not fundie mormons.
Undie mormons maybe…
12:23 pm on November 23rd, 2008
Traditional pole dancing has always been between a woman and a pole. If the Mormons want to attack our customs, our very way of life, I”m sure I can get a lot more than 300 signatures, maybe even a majority in a ballot initiative, to say so.
2:15 am on October 4th, 2009
Just added my own blog this month. I need some inspiration. Thx.