Phil Hellmuth (poker player and thoughtful calm person) and Tim Molyneux (famous for being Tim Molyneux, best we can gather) have pooled their resources to produce just what the world’s been clamoring for in these troubled times: “All In: The Poker Musical“. It premieres at Harrah’s during the World Series of Poker on the Fourth of July. Viva independence!

Of course this is stupid; an entire musical based on a game where people huddle over a table for hours at a time will never work.

We get our kicks below the jump, sunshine.

Of course, we’re out unless the boys from ABBA are doing the score on this one, too. We need our rivers of polyester and our bad beats in a funk flavor. Or maybe we’d settle for Avenue Q-style work. After all, Hellmuth is a huge foul-mouthed Muppet that even Peter Jackson would be proud of.

And we’re going out on a love song. Wasn’t this good?