Phillies’ WS Ring Thief Not A Criminal Mastermind

For the second time since last year’s championship, the Philadelphia Phillies have had to deal with an incident with World Series rings going missing. And just like the first quasi-theft thing with the janitor, the case was solved relatively quickly.

Matt Mervine Phillies Ring Thief
(Our perp. No, really. We’re not making that up.)

So how did the Phillies figure out where three employees’ rings went? Well, it helped that they watched it on security tape. Oh, and that the thief had given them his name, phone number, and address beforehand. Oh, and that’s not even the weirdest part.

From WPVI-TV in Philadelphia (via THE 700 LEVEL):

Police say the suspect, 21-year-old Matt Mervine, was ejected from the game for ‘unruly behavior.’ He was wearing a mask labeled “Rockies Killer.”

Instead of leaving, investigators say, he went to a Phillies office to fill out a job application. Video surveillance showed him leaving with a manilla envelope that was on the reception desk.

“He grabs the envelope, puts it in his right hand,which he puts at his side. He makes the turn to walk out the door, ” said Capt. Laurence Nodiff of the Philadelphia Police.

Mervine may have thought he hit the jackpot, leaving with three World Series rings. However, they were not the $11,000 rings given to the players, but $1,100 rings intended for three Phillies’ employees.

Here, we’re done an immense disservice. Technically, it isn’t pertinent to the timeline, but could they at least tell us how Mervine went from “ejected from the game” to “filling out a job application”? There’s a huge gulf in logical story progressions there, after all. Did he get the heave-ho and think to himself, “I admire their gumption, I wonder if there’s room for one more”? Did he fill one out because he thought “this way I can never be ejected”? Did the Phillies try to put his enthusiasm on payroll so they could mold it to their liking? We want answers here.

Alas, even if he hadn’t walked out with three rings, though, he probably wouldn’t have gotten the job once the security check came back:

Mervine is no stranger to law enforcement. He had been arrested before on narcotics and carjacking charges. He will now face theft charges in Philadelphia.

Whoops!