PHILLIES PANDER TO PETA’S KOOKS WITH PRESS RELEASE: You know you’re having another uninspiring season when, like the Phillies, you put out a press release trumpeting that the yoga-fried PETA burnouts have named your ballpark the “Most Vegetarian-Friendly Ballpark in North America.”

The only way for the forever mid-standings citizens to correct this faux-pas is to have a giveaway night featuring one of PETA’s softporn posters of Pam Anderson:

Given a choice between Anaheim’s Ratatouille-based ballpark fare and Citizens Bank Park’s Tofu-derived Frosty Malts, we’ll take the former.