Pete Carroll Does Not Suffer Prank Callers Gladly

Monday’s media conference call with USC coach Pete Carroll took a turn for the worse about 20 minutes in, when a prankster posing as a blogger got the floor to himself, and then didn’t even bother to be funny.

Pete Carroll Crank Call

(Artist rendering of Carroll’s reaction to conference call prankster)

Making things more painful was the fact that whoever was supposed to be moderating the call seems to have fallen asleep at the switch, and didn’t catch on to what was happening until after Carroll had already bailed on the call (but not without taking a dig at THE Ohio State University first).

A man referring to himself as Steve Marsh from “College Blog” (you had all day to come up with a fake website and that’s the best you can do?) was the offending party. Luckily, CBSSPORTS.COM’s Dennis Dodd was there to give us the complete transcript:

“Marsh”: Would you ever reward your players with sex with Britney Spears or the Jonas Brothers?”

Carroll: “I can’t understand what you’re saying, dude. ”

“Marsh”: “Coach, answer the question.”

Carroll: “I’m not answering something … I can’t understand what you’re saying, dude. What are you saying about Britney Spears?

“Marsh”: “Would you ever reward your players with a date with her?”

Carroll: “I’m sorry I couldn’t understand what you were saying. That’s really not in my realm of control here, but of course I wouldn’t. I wouldn’t have anything to do with that. I’m not even addressing the answer any more than that.”

“Marsh”: “You have a good day coach.”

Carroll: “You bet.” (laughing)

“Marsh”: “Coach, I’ve got a follow-up. What about trading in some of your players for, you know, the Trojan condoms? You ever think about (that)?”

Carroll: “Will somebody screen this frickin’ call guys, let’s go.”

“Marsh”: “Coach, one more question …”

Carroll: “Dude, I’m off this one. Thanks a lot, Ohio State. That was a great job there.”

“Marsh”: (laughing in the background) “He hung up on me.”

“Did you ever think about that, Pete? You know, ’cause the condoms are Trojans and your team is Trojans, huh? Dude, I own this conference call!”

The CLEVELAND PLAIN DEALER’s Doug Lesmerises was unamused (or, at least, more unamused than the rest of us) by Marsh’s shenanigans, mostly because it prevented him from asking inspired questions like, “How do you like your chances this week, coach?” But Lesmerises also pointed out that Carroll’s parting shot at TOSU was unwarranted:

…the call was not set up by Ohio State. And it included reporters from across the country, not just Ohio, though no discernible accent was detectable in the idiot’s inflection. Idiots can come from anywhere.

No discernible accent, eh? You mean, like someone from Ohio? Nice try there, Doug.