Penn St. Player Says He Was Touching, Not Pulling

Last week, we bounced along news of a Penn State basketball player being charged with masturbating in the library. But now the b-baller is trying to defend himself against the off-court personal foul call.

Stanley Pringle Penn State hand lotion

AOL FANHOUSE via THE DAILY COLLEGIAN follows up on Stanley Pringle’s reported lewdness in the library. He denied doing any raunchy reach-in, claiming he was just touching his private parts but not pulling:

Pringle told police he has “a bad habit of putting his hand down his pants,” and demonstrated for the officer by placing his hand down the front of his sweatpants, according to the complaint.

“Why would I need to masturbate?” he told police. “This is how I chill, ma’am.”

Why, indeed? Nice of Stanley to offer the officer a visual aide.

You think that’s icky? According to the criminal complaint against Pringle, the woman who was supposedly the object of Stanley’s auto-erotic obsession said that the player “sat down on top of a desk behind her and asked if she wanted to purchase some hand lotion he was selling for the basketball team.”

Selling hand lotion? Does the NCAA know about this? And was it really hand lotion in his possession and not some ….um, other substance?

There’s more lurid details about the apparent perverted events from Penn State, but it’s almost lunchtime, and we don’t want to lose our appetite.

Think we’ll tell Subway to hold the mayo today.