As all the cool kids already know, Padres front office guru-type assistant and former Dodgers General Manager Paul DePodesta has started one of them there blogs the kids are into these days. (We couldn’t exactly tell you why it’s not on the Padres’ Web site.) DePodesta, as you already know, probably wrote “Moneyball”. Joe Morgan’s not sure. Damned nerds; get off his lawn!

One week in, though, and the illusion of freedom of expressing one’s self without repercussion started to unravel. (To be fair, DePodesta never intimated he’d be Chatty Cathy about everything, but it is a blog. We have expectations, fair or not.)

In his latest missive from the sparkling blue front lines of San Diego, DePodesta points out that he has a few rules he can’t break or else he turns into a Gremlin (and/or the lawyers gut and fillet him):

• Don’t feed him after midnight.
• Don’t throw him in a Sea World pool.
• Don’t ask him about players on other teams (as there are tampering laws in MLB’s codes)
• Don’t ask him about the Dodgers. He doesn’t know anything about the Dodgers. He never met the Dodgers. What’s a Dodger?

Considering how ‘warmly’ DePodesta was welcomed into town and how viciously he was then railroaded out of town by the flighty McCourts, the lines are plenty spacious to read between: DePodesta signed a non-disclosure agreement and possibly got to keep some cash.

That’s no fun, though. How will we know about the time he had to explain to Bill Plaschke that he can’t do his taxes on a Speak’n'Spell he got from a flea market? Or the time he buried a hooker in the desert to protect Lasorda? Or the time scouting director nonpareil Logan White drafted a bunch of really good prospects for every subsequent GM to ignore or set fire to?

Okay. Well. We see DePodesta’s point. Safer for all sides.

Still, it seems blatantly unfair that Plaschke gets to bloviate from his blowhole about matters he’s ill-equipped to discuss (like Sports After World War II or Moving Picture Shows) while DePodesta can’t defend himself. On the other hand, if DePodesta wanted a safer and kinder business, he could have followed his other Harvard mates and gone into subprime mortgages.