Pat Riley Implodes Heat Franchise, Now Will Quit

The Miami media is a twitter today about the news that Pat Riley has called a press conference today to announce he is quitting as coach of the Miami Heat until they get good again.

Pat Riley Photo: Lay Off The Scotch And Salty Snacks!

By now everyone knows how he stabbed Stan Van Gundy in the back three years ago en route to stealing what will surely be his last NBA championship ring as coach. Now with the franchise in tatters, thanks to his front office stewardship, Riley is once again ready to quit on the team he systematically dismantled.

Living in Miami for the entire NBA season, we can tell you that everyone here is fed up with Riley’s act. That is everyone except the only person who matters in the entire affair: Heat owner Mickey Arison.

Everyone knows that Riley fouled up the team with an impotent offseason, then his players quit on him one-by-one during season, which lead to him fleeing the team at the end on *scouting* trips.

Now Heat fans have an impaired, exhausted (see Olympics) Dwyane Wade, brain-dead Shawn Marion and maybe Derrick Rose or Michael Beasley (and Chris Quinn!) to look forward to next season.

God we’re glad we aren’t ticket brokers down here. Bless you, fellas.

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