Parent Sues When Son Injures Self Sliding, Wins $

Here below we see another unfortunate Little League Slide Fail. It’s reminiscent of the way I did it — once injuring my butt, ripping my pants and killing a squirrel during the same slide into second. Yes, my technique was horrid, but never once in my youth baseball career did I imagine that I could get money for it.

A Staten Island parent whose son tore up his knee in a slide during a Little League game has settled a lawsuit with the league for $125,000. In the suit, the parent claimed that her son’s coach had never taught him how to slide properly. Don’t get any ideas, New York Mets.

I know what you’re thinking: “Wait’ll they see my kid hit. I’ll be rich!

Jean Gonzalez of Meiers Corners has agreed to settle a lawsuit in which she alleged her son Martin Gonzalez, then 12, tore up his right knee in a New Springville Little League game because he wasn’t taught how to properly slide.

Martin injured a ligament and meniscus while sliding into second base on May 4, 2004, court papers said. He was trying to stretch a hit into a double on the coach’s instruction.

Now, 17, he underwent two surgeries to repair the damage.

In addition to negligent coaching, she contended a stationary base was used, despite data showing that detachable bases were safer.

The defendants countered that Martin had been taught the proper sliding technique, and the bases used, detachable “Soft-Touch” ‘pop-up’ bags, were compliant with all safety standards.

Why the league settled is beyond me … maybe they figured, hey, we might as well give her the 125 grand before someone embezzles it. (Just kidding, New Springfield Little League! See you in the spring!). But one thing is clear in all of this: We have now entered the era of youth sports malpractice.

Will Pee Wee football coaches be liable when a quarterback throws high over the middle, leaving his receiver vulnerable to hard-hitting safeties? If your team loses the youth hockey game 16-0, will the goalie be able to sue for mental distress? And can I sue Dugout, the Little League mascot gopher, just on general principle?

“As you know your honor, my client, Billy, is suing Pleasant Valley Little League because he had to wait too long in line at the snack bar for Red Vines. We are asking for $400,000 in punitive damages, plus said Red Vines, and a medium Coke.”

(h/t STEADY BURN)